I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
