I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
