My brain says no but my pants say off.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
