I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
