im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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