"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
