Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
