I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
