i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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