She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
