We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he was CRYING into my vagina
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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