Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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