Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
