were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
everyone is single if you try hard enough
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
