It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
