nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Did I show you my penis last night?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
