your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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