saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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