were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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