too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
