I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
