In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
