sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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