You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
