Her vagina should come with caution tape.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
