just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
