He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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