You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
