You're completely useless in the revolution.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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