have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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