its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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