i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm just crazy horny about you
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
