One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
