Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
