Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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