She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
