Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
