...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
