dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
