id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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