well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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