I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
