If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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