I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
