I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
