try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
