He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
