Pappa wants mamma naked
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
