Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
