PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
