after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
