I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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